Deep Thoughts and Amusing Musings

Week Two= EPIC FAIL

2012-01-14T13:42:00.000-08:00

Just checking in everyone. Week two of the January Healthy Eating Challenge was just as I expected. Total. Epic. Failure. I am trying not to be too hard on myself. I just need to find foods that I enjoy that have whole grains. My picks for this week? Mini Wheats and Toasted Wheat Thins. That's all I got. My tortilla with carne asada earlier this week was corn, not whole wheat or whole grain. I went to lunch and the tostada was definitely not whole grain. I am determined!! I just need to re-evaluate my taste buds, I guess...

Food Network's January Challenge

2012-01-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

I realized the other day that I haven't been keeping up on my posts as much as I could have. I've got good reason though. I'm in school full time getting a 4.0 and I'm pregnant. I'm also working full time. This leads me to another dilemma.

Weight gain.

I've gained 10 pounds over the last year, and I haven't been taking care of myself. This was very apparent to me when I announced my pregnancy to the ladies in the front office of the school I work at. The first thing the attendance lady said to me? "You look pregnant. We knew you were."

The problem? I was only 10 weeks along. I wasn't even showing yet. YIKES!!

A complete stranger looks at me and assumes I'm pregnant because I'm not model thin? What is this world coming to? I mean, talk about rude!!

But! It was the wake up call that I needed. My doctor says that I should be between 145 and 150 based on my height which is 5'7''. He also said that I should gain 30 pounds or less with this pregnancy.

So! The game plan:

Give my baby all the nutrients it needs while preventing excess weight gain. First step is the Food Network's January Health Challenge.

Week One: Eat breakfast every day. This is not hard for me, since I can't function in the morning without a little fuel.

Week Two: More Whole Grains. This is going to be the most challenging week, I fear. I don't really know what a whole grain is, let alone what is made with whole grains and what isn't completely processed out. I did buy a box of Frosted Mini Wheats though....

Week Three: Cook at Home. Well, the husband and I were doing great at this! But we have kinda gotten lazy and relied a bit on Papa Murphy's pizza to bail us out. Since I am on vacation right now, I am planning to go back and hit this one strong with menu planning and lots of crock pot stuff that I can prepare the night before and cook while I am at work.

Week Four: More Fruits and Veggies: This is a must for myself and for the baby. Fruit I am good at eating. It is the vegetable area that I struggle with. Here's hoping I can find more veggies that I like to eat.

Week Five: Stay on Track!! Self explainable. This is the biggest challenge I think. At least they didn't have six weeks. Week six I bet would be called: Get Out and Move!

Protecting the Faith....

2010-09-21T22:09:00.000-07:00

So I was asked to contact Larry King Live to send my questions to the President of Iran. However, when searching through Ocean, I found this:

RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MEDIA
Contacting National Media:
Local Spiritual Assemblies, local committees and individual Bahá'ís should not contact national media (e.g. television or radio networks, national or international wire services, newspapers or magazines with international, national or statewide distribution) without first contacting the Office of Public Information.
When the Bahá'ís find that programs or articles in international and national media contain errors about the Faith, it is essential that they inform the Office of Public Information which will then determine the best way to handle the matter. Individuals should not contact editors or program directors to correct the errors.

(Compilations, NSA USA - Developing Distinctive Baha'i Communities)

So. I decided to phrase my question generally:

When will everyone in your country be able to have the basic human rights they are allowed and deserve? This includes the religious minorities such as Christians, Baha'i's and Jews...

A Love Story

2010-08-02T11:50:00.001-07:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Challenges

2010-07-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

I've been catching up on my Baha'i reading lately.
First I read A Love Which Does Not Wait by Janet Ruhe-Schoen, which is about some of the early pioneers. In the book she tells the stories of their lives, and explains that despite the challenges that they faced, because of their love for the Faith and Baha'u'llah, they persevered. Some of them rode on trains with the cows, one couple spent a large portion of their marriage only seeing each other a few times a year, and one of them was asked to wear the same outfit every day.... Now I am reading Lua Getsinger Herald of the Covenant by Velda Piff Metelmann, and there is a section in chapter 7 (page 72) that quotes a tablet given to Lua from 'Abdu'l-Baha during a time when she was experiencing difficulty. It reads:

"The more difficulties one sees in this world the more perfect one becomes. The more you plough and dig in the ground the more fertile it becomes. The more you cut the branches of a tree, the higher and stronger it grows. The more you put gold in the fire, the purer it becomes. The more you sharpen the steel by grinding, the better it cuts. Therefore, the more sorrows one sees, the more perfect one becomes, That is why in all times the prophets of GOD have had tribulations and difficulties to withstand. The more often a captain of a ship is in the tempest and difficult sailing, the greater his knowledge becomes. Therefore, I am happy that you have had great tribulations and difficulties; -of this I am very happy- that you have had many sorrows. Strange it is that I love you and still I am happy that you have sorrows!"

After reading this and thinking about the recent challenges I've faced, I believe that 'Abdu'l-Baha is very happy now. I've often wondered why we face the particular tests that we do, and I wonder why the tests I am given seem so monumental at the time, yet in retrospect or compared to other people's trials, they are minuscule.

I had a very nice, very long conversation with my friend the other day, and she, too, is being tested. She's being tested in ways that I could not even imagine...my heart was breaking knowing that I couldn't give her a hug, or go with her to do the things she needed to do.

My fiance has been in another state for a little over a month now, and will be in another state for at least another 17 months and it's proven to be very difficult for both of us. Not that I make things any better by whining and crying about it all the time....but I know it could be worse! He could be in another country without any communication with the outside world. He could still be in the military and be deployed to somewhere "off the grid." I could not have a fiance at all....He could live in another state permanently and not have a solid idea of when we could be together....I could be one of those women who gets beaten everyday and is afraid to leave...I could be on drugs and unable to get clean....my pre-cancerous cells could mutate into full blown cancer....so many other things could be happening to me right now!

My mom works with a lady who has severe osteoporosis. Because of this she has a hunchback.This woman has two children, ages 8 and 10. She lives in low income housing. One day, shortly after moving in to her apartment, she heard a knock on the door. She opened it, and a man with a large knife pushed through, slicing her neck. He then went in and raped her 8 year old daughter and gutted her 10 year old son....all three of them survived, and I am pretty sure they caught the man....but I don't know what I would have done if that had been me....I don't know if it's wrong to look forward to the day that man meets our just God...or should I just fall to my knees and cry, "Ya Allah'u'Abha!!" and thank Him for protecting me from the evil in this world, and ask Him to bless that woman and her children, and heal them, physically and emotionally.....

What I'm trying to say here I guess, is what I need to remind myself always.....God tests us so that we may grow, and learn...and despite how bad it gets. How hard it is. How much it burns like the fire. It could always be worse. It could always get worse if we aren't careful and thankful for our blessings.

I am thankful, God. I am thankful that there are people in this world that love me. I am thankful that in this economy I am blessed with not one, but two jobs. I am thankful that I am able to go to the grocery store once a month and buy groceries. I am thankful that I have chosen my friends and peers wisely and that I have not fallen into the drug trap that so many of my former friends have. I am thankful God, that I was given the opportunity to travel to the Holy Land and to walk where Your Manifestations walked. I am thankful that I have a bed to sleep in and a roof to keep me dry. I am thankful for my overall good health. Lastly God, I am thankful for my Faith. My Faith that You will keep me safe and happy, despite my fears and uncertainties.

Ruhiyyih Khanum said the following about Faith:

To walk where there is no path
To breathe where there is no air
To see where there is no light
This is Faith

To cry out in the silence,
The silence of the night,
And hearing no echo, believe
And believe again and again
This is Faith

To hold pebbles and see jewels
To raise sticks and see forests
To smile with weeping eyes
This is Faith

To say: 'God I believe' when others deny,
'I hear' where there is no answer
'I see' though naught is seen
This is Faith

And the fierce love in the heart,
The savage love that cries
Hidden Thou art, yet there!
Veil Thy face and mute Thy tongue
Yet I see and hear Thee, Love,
Beat me down to the bare earth
Yet I rise and love Thee, Love!
This is Faith.

So now, the challenge.
Remember! It could be worse! HAVE FAITH THAT IT WILL GET BETTER!!!

Teen sailor Abby Sunderland abandons nonstop around-the-world quest, by Pete Thomas

2010-04-26T10:44:00.000-07:00

What would it be like to be brave like this? Everyone always accuses me of being courageous, but this is courage.

Teen sailor Abby Sunderland abandons nonstop around-the-world quest, by Pete Thomas

Day One

2009-04-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

According to my life overhaul, I am supposed to be tracking my progress with my goals. Here we go:

Day one has got to be the hardest day for goal starting. My alarm went off at 6am and I hit the snooze button for an hour, and then at 7 I shut it off completely and went back to sleep for 45 more minutes. This of course shows that I did not go to sleep early enough last night, and did not go to the gym this morning.
The day went downhill from there.....if at first you don't succeed, be a stubborn bitch and get it done tomorrow!!!!

Life Overhaul

2009-04-09T18:41:00.000-07:00

As I was perusing the blogs left by my friends, (because that's how we keep up with each others lives now) I read a wonderful piece by my Rumi. She talks about the last couple of months spent in reflection, and her conclusions about her habits, and developing better ones.
You can read it here: http://intenselychill.wordpress.com/

This of course spawned some deep thoughts and amusing musings.....

Good habits I would like to develop.....Also known as things-I'm-bad-at-but-would-like-to-improve........

Eat balanced meals every day. Avoid the vending machine at all costs.
Rearrange my priorities. Currently these include, but are not limited to:

Baha'i Faith, School, Work, Me.

How to rearrange:

Take time to do my homework every day. No more putting everything off until 10 minutes before it's due.
Go back to the gym. There is no point in having a paid for membership if I am not using it, and no, I can't get my money back.
Let go of the fact that I am not everyone's #1 priority. Understand that my friends still love me, even if they don't have tons of time for me right now. (This one's a biggie).
Stand up and demand my alone time. I don't want to be in a relationship right now. For the first time ever, I WANT TO BE SINGLE AND FOCUS ON MYSELF. Just because somebody is a nice person and they are ready for a relationship does not mean that I need to give into their needs and wants. When I'm ready, everything will fall into place, and the person I choose to be with will be welcome into my life without feeling like an added stress.
Tutor a Ruhi book so I can be officially finished with book 7, and can do more Ruhi!!
Do more service to the Faith.

Other goals:

Be asleep by 11 pm and awake at 6 am on school/work days in order to eat a healthy breakfast and hit the gym before work.
Pay better attention to my sugar and carb intake to keep my hypoglycemia in check.
EAT MORE SALAD.
Budget my money better. Find ways to make the little money I do make stretch farther.
Get rid of all the junk in my room. My mother seems to think that a bookshelf will help me with my things, but I think that will only encourage more collecting......
No eating dinner after 7:00 pm. All I do after 7:00 pm is sit, so I store everything I eat.
REMEMBER IT TAKES 21 DAYS TO ACQUIRE A HABIT.
Don't get mad at myself when 4 days into this life change I oversleep and stuff my face with sushi......

Amusing Musings:

I would rather be doing this than my Linguistics homework. Hence the need to prioritize....school first.... then blog....about that......

Feeling Great

2009-03-13T23:00:00.001-07:00

So this week I actually felt great for the first time in a while. I made the dean's list at school, I found a great shirt for the conference I will be working at tomorrow, I got to hang out on Thursday night with my best friend while we treated ourselves to steak and lobster at The Red Lobster restaurant, and I was brought sushi this evening by my other friend. While eating this sushi we were watching my favorite movie. When he left, I realized that I have the entire house to myself, so I can do laundry til the crack of dawn if I feel like it. Or, I can go to bed early, and not have to worry about anyone keeping me up! My biopsy test results came back on Monday, negative for cervical cancer, work is fantastic, my coworkers and I have finally figured out how to communicate effectively, my mom is going back to work on the 23rd, and next week is spring break.

Speaking of which, I will be house sitting a house that has a big screen t.v. with surround sound and a hot tub. :-) My friends are all happy and healthy with happy and healthy children/spouses/significant others, and I am also making new friends, whom I enjoy tremendously! Last week I went snowboarding for a few hours and managed to make it down the bunny slope 3 times without falling, and one of my favorite authors is coming out with a new book in September!! YAY!

To fall asleep with a smile on your face and multiple reasons to get up in the next 8 hours is a wonderful feeling.

Beautiful

2009-02-16T19:51:00.000-08:00

I was on OKCupid yesterday, bored as hell, reading forum topics. I stumbled upon a posting under "Confessions" that read:

I miss holding a woman close at night,
listening to the sound of her breathing,
smelling her hair,
and watching her sleep peacefully,
in her most angelic and beautiful state.
The feel of the soft skin of her neck on my
lips when i give one final kiss before falling
into blissful sleep...
i don't think there's any better feeling in the world.

I wish more men felt that way. Or at least admitted to feeling that way.

I had a conversation today, that I don't think went very well. I thought that when you loved someone, even after they didn't treat you just right, you could be friends and not be angry. But apparently I was wrong.

I'm still angry, and maybe even more so now. I want to move on and trust people again, and because of our past issues I can't. I am probably screwing up something really great because you hurt me so much that I am afraid this new person will too. How many times in my life have I passed up the nice guy because I found the bad boy more appealing? How many more times will I put myself through this? At which point will I learn, for MYSELF, that I deserve better and that it's ok to trust someone until they give you reason not to? All men are not created equal, and when I realize that for myself, I won't have to wait for or expect someone to prove it to me.

Because that's just not fair to the nice guy who's trying not to finish last.

Reclusive

2009-02-07T22:41:00.000-08:00

Being someone who has absolutely no idea how to be alone, I find myself wanting to be extremely reclusive lately. Maybe it's because I'm single now, and don't really know what that's supposed to feel like, or maybe it's my inner intellectual demanding some time to focus on school, but either way it makes me feel off kilter.

F.T.A.A. or Failure to Appear at Altar

2009-01-29T23:06:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been doing an extreme amount of reflecting. My entire life I have done things. Usually those said things have involved LOTS of people. Whether singing in the Church choir with my mom, or playing softball every year from the ages of 5-12. I was in drama, band, choir, SADD, book club, track and field, and volleyball.....my point is, I suck at being alone and doing things for myself and by myself. I'm terrible at it!

Being terrible at being alone also makes it difficult for me to be in healthy relationships. I have noticed this, and it has also been pointed out to me numerous times by plenty of people. Something that adds to this is the pressure I currently feel to get married. Now I am very happy to see most of my friends married, engaged, and/or starting families; and don't get me wrong, I am also VERY happy that 3 of my cousins are engaged...but it's weird for me. I have never been the single one.

EVER.

So how do I get around this pressure? How do I avoid feeling like a social failure? My family's background is Mormon, my friends are all nesting, and even the mailman is getting in on the bridal craze!

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen! Women in the 21st century are "supposed" to be married and having children by the age of 25, along with holding down a great career after having gone to school and gotten their degree in record time! They also should be a size 2 with a perfect smile and a great bikini body!

(Miss America 2009)

At this rate, I should have run for Miss America in 1951

Sad thing is, the expectations were the same back then....

Why I Decided to Jump on the Blog Bandwagon

2009-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have the need to write down my feelings and frustrations. Or talk them out. Just do something with them. I am not an internalizer. My problems and ideas need to be worked out vocally. I have often used the analogy that my ideas are like a ball of words, jumbled up in my brain. When I talk things out, or write them down, it's like throwing the ball at the wall; as the ball hits, the words become sentences and all of a sudden I can see the problem written down and I can figure out the answer.

So hello everyone, and welcome to the deep thoughts and amusing musings of my brain, plastered all over this wall for you to read along with me. I write when I have what I call writer's flow, which is the exact opposite of writer's block (hence the website name). So here we go!!